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The Prosecution: Beth

At times I'm recorded while I’m eating. I’ll see myself on her social media – it feels like a sudden shock.

A close companion of 10 years, Marielle, labels herself the “content queen”. It’s fun for a bit, but it strains our friendship.

Being highly outgoing, she feels the need to document everything constantly. During meals out, her motto is, “The phone eats first,” and snaps pictures with the flash on, which induces embarrassment. I don’t like it when other people see her posing or filming – I experience vicarious awkwardness. It also frustrates me because the food gets cold.

She's not quite an influencer yet, but she is aspiring to become one. She makes video blogs about city life, her daily routine, and her work as a stylist. Her content is good, credit where it's due, but I prefer not to be involved. Sometimes I'm captured while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. Later, I appear on her feed later, and it pops up like a surprise: I’ll have bare-faced, making a strange expression or be captured mid-bite. It feels invasive.

She also expects me to record her at inconvenient times. Often I’ll be talking to someone else, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. I feel like our friendship has turned into me being her unpaid videographer. She could easily hire someone if she wanted professional shots. Upon mentioning my unease about this arrangement, she brushed it off. I've been invited to a couple of brand events, which were appreciated, but that doesn't compensate for all the energy I spend assisting her create material.

I appreciate that she has helped me with my career in design, but I don’t want our friendship to become merely a tally of exchanges. I don’t feel she’s fake or inauthentic, but at times it seems that if the camera is out, we will start performing in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

Her directive is, “OK, look happy!” and film me smiling with someone. It’s so silly. It's crucial her to recognize that our 10-year friendship still has boundaries. I love spending time with her, but I also desire to enjoy it without being recorded, edited, or posted for an audience. I am not a prop for her Instagram.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I hope my friend to see that the creations we produce together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about shooting content. It’s not just a hobby; it's integral to who I am. Producing content and documenting experiences online allows me to express myself and connect with people in novel forms.

I don’t see myself as a full influencer yet, but it’s smart to make money from your interests. I admire people on social platforms who pull off that aesthetic of casual, DIY film-making.

Content creation is my version of living actively: noticing the details, posting them with an viewership that appreciates the art behind it. It's never my aim to make Beth uncomfortable. Taking her to industry events was my way of offering access, providing her a chance to witness exclusive moments that could benefit her career in design too. That isn't leverage, it's simply being pragmatic.

I’d still take her to such functions even if she didn’t help me, but I desire her to see what the work we make together can get us: a foot in the door. I understand not all people likes being on camera, but often unplanned moments is what makes material authentic. Appearing on video from time to time is an inherent aspect of being my friend. I'd remove anything she requested, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don't demand anybody to be my personal filmmaker, but companions help each other in minor capacities. I thought filming a short video here or there would be fun for her. Creativity flourishes in partnership, and having my friend around makes endeavors energetic and enjoyable. I never force her to take part in anything, and I would never deliberately embarrass her. But creating content jointly occasionally is part of how I record our time together.

I cherish our friendship deeply and want to avoid content creation to come between us. I am ready to find middle ground: like asking before filming, and steering clear of shots that might make her self-conscious.

This is not about control, it's regarding expressing my perspective while still considering hers. Obviously content creation is not a substitute for real connection: it's merely part of how I live my life and I desire her to be involved in a way that’s agreeable for each of us.

The Jury: Reader Opinions

Is it right for her to stop recording herself and her friend when they are socializing?

Nothing is more uncomfortable than having a friend film you. I get that it’s Marielle’s passion, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my work. Perhaps she can find like-minded creators to collaborate with. Given the dark, looming future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
A respondent, 25

When pursuing something professionally, it's unfair to expect your friends for help every time, even if they have done it before. While she enjoys creating, that doesn't imply everyone around her is willing material. She must to honor Beth’s privacy.
Another reader, 26

Marielle might love making content and showing off her life online, but it isn't for everyone. It’s nice she has helped Beth’s career, but she must to listen to what her friend desires.
A commenter, 27

It sounds like you care about each other, so cling to that and ensure it’s the priority in your friendship. Foster some real experiences, where true emotions are preserved, not online archives. In fact, public figures who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more secrecy than it seems.
One opinion, 53

Marielle appears to be neither present nor genuine when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Each appears confused as to what’s reasonable. The solution lies not in trying to change one another, but in each establishing clear boundaries around what is comfortable to them and determining if there is an acceptable middle ground.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: has she been over-exposing their friendship?